Can You Relate?

I know I'm pretty. I know I'm beautiful. I know my body looks good. Trust me, I know. However, there was a time in my life where I didn't realize I was, and I would rather look for people to reassure me of my beauty, no matter what it would take. I guess you could say I had a thirst for compliments, and I would eat them up from whoever spat them out. Be it about my body, about my chubby cheeks, or my eyes, I would just get filled up with all these compliments but, somehow, they would pass through one ear, my brain would deny them, and be pushed out the other. I was so in denial of my beauty because at the time, not many people would notice it, and it started to cause me to do weird things just to be noticed. I would maybe put on a little more make up, dress in really short things or wear flashy things, just really weird things just so I could get noticed and be reminded that I was "hot" or "gorgeous", not realizing those compliments were demoralizing m...

I was broken. No, really. I was. There was a time when my life was literally hell on earth, a time where all I could think of was "Is Jesus coming today or tomorrow, because I'm honestly tired." I was the type of person who people were afraid to talk to, the type people would rather stay away from because I wasn't a vibe. I was easily upset, I didn't want anyone around me, I thought I could live without friends, all because the problems I had with me made me feel like I didn't deserve the love that people were trying to give me. I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems. Of course I wasn't always like that. I was a "joyful" person. I loved people, I always wanted to be around people, but one experience I will never forget in highschool, changed my outlook on life. It narrowed my perspective and downplayed my positive emotions about myself. I started surviving instead of living. I didn't realize it then but as I grew older and st...

They're so annoying, aren't they? That person you rant about or vent about to all your friends. That person that pissed you off, has no regard for your feelings, and are probably watching a movie in the comfort of their room, giving the screen of their laptop a smug smile, right? I won't lie. I used to get very angry very quickly. Any trivial thing would piss me off. From people sitting on my bed without permission, to someone humming a tune in the morning hours, to unfolded dirty laundry, to guys saying hi to me, just because I thought they all had the same intentions. Literally anything really. And for me, I seldom thought I was the one with the problem. I would generally think everyone else had the problem, and I was just alright. Of course, I knew I had an anger problem, but that was mostly it. Of course I knew I wasn't perfect, far far FAR from it really, however, I had this idea that "This is who I am, I don't need to change for anyone", even if I ...